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I am happy to provide ceremonies especially for the Goth community


gothic funerals

The only element in a Goth funeral I insist on is that it is non-religious and humanist in basic content. Providing that is what you want, I’m pretty content to accommodate any wishes (providing they are legal, safe and acceptable to your funeral director and crematorium/burial site).

As with any funeral, I ask that you have a photograph of the deceased for me to look at during the family meeting, if at all possible. We will talk about his/her life and achievements, likes and dislikes, favourite music, memorable events – all the things that made the person. We will consider the ceremony itself, whether family members or friends wish to contribute by giving a reading, what music to have  and so on. This meeting usually takes ninety minutes to two hours.

Once I have drafted the ceremony I will email it to you (or we’ll find some other solution if you don’t use email) so that you can check it’s as you would like it. Please feel free to suggest changes – the ceremony is about the deceased and family, not me. You can call me as many times as you need, it really isn’t a problem.

It is rare that we would need to meet again before the funeral, though we can if you feel it will help, and I will meet you at the crematorium/burial site/venue on the day of the funeral. Unless you ask me to do otherwise, I will wear Goth clothing.  If you are having a cremation, ceremonies generally last no more than twenty minutes (some crematoria allow longer but, if you are having a lot of music and longer contributions from family members, we will need to talk to the funeral director about perhaps booking an extension.) If you are having a burial, please consider how music will be played at the graveside if there is to be any (I am happy to help).

The ceremony will celebrate the life of the deceased. We will remember his or her achievements, look at the serious and lighter events that mean so much to you, hear favourite prose or poetry, and listen to much-loved music. I will, in my introduction, say a few words about humanism. If you want me to, I can put greater emphasis on this. During the ceremony there will be a minute’s silence for each person to reflect on the deceased’s life in their own way.

At the end of the ceremony I will make any announcements you wish, for example if you are having a collection, or inviting people back home or to a local venue. Before we all leave I will give you a presentation copy of the ceremony for you to keep.

Every ceremony is individually crafted, not a standard script with just the name of the deceased changed, but typically a humanist ceremony might include three pieces of music, a welcome, a tribute, time for reflection, the committal and, finally, the close.